As creative beings, we naturally gravitate toward the process of Becoming -- seeking beauty and success, striving to feel better, to be better, to do better. There is power in activating our intentions, and we embrace it as a natural part of what it means to be a human.
But what happens if we are spending our lives striving for goals that are not our own?
For years, I would say to my husband, “We’re getting there,” by which I meant that we were closer to becoming whatever it was we thought we wanted to be -- but I can’t recall finding satisfaction in saying, “We have arrived.” When one goal was met, the next wave of expectations immediately eclipsed it. I would outperform others to get a dream job, only to suffer from debilitating imposter syndrome. I would plan a vacation, but the dread of the return would sully the respite. I would exercise religiously and then spend four months grounded by injury. I tried to be a supermom but felt increasingly alienated from my family. It was time to reassess what motivated my Becoming.
So began the process of Unbecoming -- by which I mean examining the qualities within us which we think of as unappealing -- our behaviors, our looks, our secret desires, our shadow selves. When we lovingly dismantle these conditioned constraints in a safe, supportive environment, we discover our most true passions. By Unbecoming, I realized that I was operating with a values system that was not my own -- perfectionism, individualism, and paternalism among them. I was heading for a destination that was actually in direct opposition to my core beliefs!
As we engage in the process of Unbecoming, we gain the space to take action from a place of greater alignment and authenticity. We can cultivate the changes we want to see in ourselves and our communities.
Together, let’s embrace all that we think of as Unbecoming -- so that the Becoming can be even lovelier.
Welcome to The Lovely Unbecoming. You have arrived.